HIV/AIDS is NOT a Gay Disease

Danny Pintauro just recently revealed that he is HIV positive, which he was diagnosed in 2003.  Most of you may remember him from Who's The Boss? (1984-1992) as Jonathan Bower, Angela's (Judith Light) son.  He admitted that he was using drugs at the time and did not use protection.  He realizes his mistake and he is the one that has to live with that decision for the rest of his life.

However, upon reading the comments in some articles posted on the Internet, I was dumbfounded by the views people were expressing.  Most of the comments were hateful and discriminatory.  The majority said that he was gay and that was his punishment.  They also mentioned that it was a gay disease, which God gave to the LGBTQ community to get rid of them.

If this disease is a "gay disease" then why did the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report in 2010 that gay men's HIV/AIDS new cases increased by 12% and another group's (not affiliated with the LGBTQ community) new cases increased by 44% during the same time frame? (CDC, 2010).

I cannot wrap my head and heart around the fact that we are in the 21st century and many people are still connecting HIV/AIDS with the LGBTQ community.  Gay people are not the only one's who are irresponsible.  Every person on this earth makes bad choices concerning sexual activity and protection.  If gay people were the only irresponsible ones in sexual conduct, then why do many heterosexual people continue to be diagnosed with STD's (including HIV/AIDS)?

We are in the new millennium people!  It is time to wake up and realize that we are in this together.  We cannot fight something if we do not have support from every person without prejudices, discrimination, and 30 year old thinking.  HIV/AIDS is a disease that effects life on planet earth.

Resource

CDC (2010). HIV/AIDS. http://www.cdc.gov.

The Future: Bleak or Bright?

The past year has been harsh.  I am trying to maintain my respect and love for humanity, but that is, I'm afraid, quickly diminishing.  There are people killing people on the streets in the back.  People rocketing bullets through cinemas, malls, churches, parking lots, and schools.  Those in government positions refusing to complete their job because they want to satisfy their selfish needs.  Moreover, the one's that are discriminated against and affected by the criminals are posting rude comments, which include name calling and hateful messages.

Meanwhile, Chile had one of its strongest earthquakes it has witnessed.  Volcanoes are erupting.  California's drought that is so extreme that water usage is limited.  Wild fires killing nature and firemen.  There is enough natural disasters that are devastating.  We cannot keep killing each other on top of that.

When does it all stop?  When is humanity going to stand up and realize how we are treating each other?  What will be the defining moment that wakes us up?

I am beginning to think that humanity needs another wake-up call.  I do not like to suggest such a thing because I believe that we, as a world, can come together and make a difference, and change our way of thinking selfishly.  We can show our future generations that we are not evil.  We can stand together and fight for love and freedom.  Unfortunately, the majority have already decided that they, as individuals, are more important.

Not only is the United States divided, but the entire world is divided.  We are overpopulated, and increases every day.  Thus, there is more people to deal with and tolerate, but we can, I believe, start caring about each other now.  The time is now!  Otherwise, we are not going to like the results in the future.

Religious Beliefs, Work, & LGBT

There are a few articles I read recently about religious beliefs, work, and the LGBT community.  First, I completely understand that this is a free nation and people have the right to believe in a higher power.  However, if you work for the city, state, or government then your personal beliefs are not an option.  You have a job to do; do it!  You get paid to do your job; do it!  Millions of people go to work everyday and do things that they think are beneath them or against their personal views, but they do it.  Why?  Because it is their job!  If someone cannot complete the task; then they need to find another job!
The LGBT community does not want special rights!  They want to be equal with the one's who DO have special rights.  Now, those want even more!  When is enough, enough?  When will people just do the correct thing and love everyone, or at the very least, respect others!

Applied Linguistics grade

Applied linguistics was an interesting course.  There were moments when I was thinking, "This is a lot like math; only an alien can understand this!"  These thoughts were only introduced when the specifics and historical portions arose; however, the remaining portions of the class were interesting.

With all that said, I still maintain an "A" status!  The final grade: 96%!!!

I have already started my next course, which is one of my focus study (minor) choice of psychology.  This course is General Psychology!  So far, the course is intriguing, but it is only the beginning.  The professor said that it is a lot like Introduction to Psychology, but with more information to learn.  I loved (and did well) in the Introduction course, so I am excited about this one.

Hope you all are having a wonderful summer!  It's hot!

Poetry in Society Grade

Well, Poetry in Society was not a simple course.  However, it was more interesting than I thought it would be.  Each week had a different era: Medieval and 16th century for week 1, 17th and 18th centuries for week 2, 19th century for week 3, early 20th century for week 4, and late 20th century for week 5.

At the end of the course, I had to write a private message to the instructor because an assignment by a team member was incorrectly submitted.  The team member submitted the wrong (incomplete) file.  Fortunately, the grade had not been posted and she adjusted the grade.  The instructor can refer back to the postings within the team to find that the completed version was indeed completed before the deadline, which the posts are date and time stamped.  In the return e-mail from the instructor, she said that I was a pleasure to have in the class and that my interpretations of the poems were unique.  She could not wait to see what I wrote next.  What a compliment considering I am not overly familiar with nor am I comfortable with poetry.

The grades have been posted and I received another A!  The actual percentage for the final grade: 94%!

This week, I have started Applied Linguistics.  I am not sure how I feel about this course yet.  So far, the reading is dull, but that may be because it is the beginning of the course and information has to be initiated.

Lately, I have also been thinking about having another article published, but I am not sure where I want to go with the article or what magazine to contact.  Although still up in the air about that, I am going to start contacting a few and see who replies.  Updates for that decision will be in the future.

A Week I Will Never Forget!

Now that I finally have some time to write, poetry is keeping me busy!  I may also add that it is not fun either.

On a brighter note, Forrest's family came for a visit from Wyoming last week.  It was nice to get out of the house for a couple of days!  Of course, that meant I had to work extra on the remaining days.  However, it was worth it.  His family is awesome (I'm not stating that just because there is a chance they will read this)!  There was never a dull moment and my cheeks still hurt from laughing so much!

The first two days Forrest took them around town.  Wednesday night we all went out for dinner and then to a bar.  Needless-to-say, I was feeling mighty fine!  A little too many Salted Caramel Apple Martini's (YUM!), beer, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch shots (double YUM!)!

Thursday we went to see the USS Yorktown in South Carolina.  What an experience that was!  Forrest's father served on that carrier 57 years ago, and he was - to put it mildly - grateful!  I did not count how many times he thanked us for the trip.  It was nice to see him smile brightly!  The director of the Association gave us a personal tour of the ship, including parts that the general public did not have access to.  What impressed me was when so many people heard about Forrest's father serving, stopped, and thanked him!  It was those times I thought I would break out the water works, but I did not!

Friday we went to two vineyards, which was interesting for someone that does not like wine.  I now know that I do like certain wines, especially some reds and sweet ones.  I am not a big fan of the white wines though.  However, if you have the chance to try Sweet Peach wine - do it!  That is magnificent !!  After, we went to the Crab Shack (Not Joe's) and that place is incredible.  It is in Tybee Island - about 40 minutes from Pooler - and well worth the drive.  Of course, I had the mussels, but also a crab cake that was served in the shell.  This is where I say "Triple YUM!"

Saturday and Sunday I was back to my classwork, but worked on Sunday night for my classwork.  During the day (Sunday) we went downtown to check the sights - Forrest's niece, her husband, and their friend did not arrive until later in the week, so they missed the first tour.

All in all, It was a wonderful week!  We drank.  We laughed.  We had fun!

The only downfall is trying to get back into the class routine.  Now that five days have passed, I am starting to get back into it all.  The countdown for the next vacation is beginning....

Creative Writing Grade

I was pleasantly surprised with Creative Writing.  I now know for certain, without any doubt, this is what I want to do when I grow up.  Yes, I am almost 40, but I thought the last part of the sentence would add a little humor.

So, for the final project, I had to complete an outline of a fictional short story in week 3.  In week four I had to create the rough draft of the fictional story, and then in week five revise and edit the rough draft.  It is quite long - 11 pages typed - and do not think I should post it on a different posting for this blog, but I have not made my mind up on that yet.

Have you noticed that I am building the tension before telling you all what my final grade is?

No?  Well, then, I have to work on that, but I cannot resist any further.....

The instructor said in the comments that I was a wonderful writer.  Also, that I bring my story, characters, and setting to life.  And lastly, she said that I was a powerful storyteller!  This, along with my grade, solidified my decision for the degree and program switch to English.

My final grade is: (drum roll) 99.98%  = A!

Jonathan's Sadness: Fictional Short Story

Below is a short story I wrote for Creative Writing.  The first assignment was to choose a picture from any online gallery or museum.  After searching and not finding anything that truly grasped my attention, I looked at the local art university Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD).  The visual art had to inspire us to create a fictional short story; not explain what the visual art was about.
I ended up receiving 100% for the story and with the comments of I have a great imagination and to continue writing!  She also commented that I should choose more words and phrases for names, because it can become repetitive, which I agree and will work on.
So, without any further typing, please enjoy!

Gustafson, A. (1943). Geopoliticus Child Watching the Birth of a New Man.

Jonathan’s Sadness

“NO!” exclaimed Jonathan as he rushed to the kitchen remembering he left the boiling spaghetti and the sauce simmering on the stove.  His worried face downsized to a frown when he looked upon the spaghetti, which boiled almost entirely dry; scorching the noodles.  He turned both burners off, and then stirred the sauce in hopes he did not burn the sauce as well.  To his disappointment the sauce charred.  The dinner is an utter disaster.  “I cannot eat this.  I will have to order something,” he thought to himself as he threw the pans into the sink.

He called for pizza and went back into the living room where he was watching the news; the reason for the ruined dinner.  A segment reporting about global warming struck his attention to the point of forgetting everything around him.  “Hurricane Theo has landed!  Winds of 160 miles per hour with gusts reaching 183; a category five!  New England has not seen this magnitude in centuries!” the weatherman reported excitingly.  Jonathan’s senses were glued to the news that he did not hear the pizza delivery person pull into the driveway or ring the doorbell.  The driver knocked very loud, which scared Jonathan to his feet.  The shock had lasted for only a few seconds before he realized what was making that racket.

 “Can you believe the weather in the north?” Jonathan asked the driver, but the deliveryman did not seem interested in small talk, he just gave an insolent smile to Jonathan, and requested the money due.  Returning the rude smile, he paid the man, took the pizza, shut the door, and sat back down in the living room.  The fragrance was inviting, but Jonathan’s mind was elsewhere in the world; still fixated on the news and the hurricane. 

Half-way through the first slice, Jonathan’s eyes bulged out of his head.  There was breaking news!  The anticipation overtook him.  “What happened with the hurricane?  Did it subside?  Did it increase?” he wondered.  Before he could ask any further questions in his mind, the anchor appeared and said, “There has been a new development.  There is now a second hurricane forming immediately behind Hurricane Theo!”  The reporter introduced another weather person, a female, for the details.  “This is unprecedented, Chuck,” she said and continued, “Hurricane Victor is stronger than Theo!  According to the data we collected from the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Wind Scale, this hurricane is exceeding a category five!  These winds are estimated to be 210 with gusts of at least 235!”

Jonathan dropped his pizza and his mouth.  All he could think was, “This will destroy the northeast!”  Saltwater fell from his baby blues; forcing their way down the knoll of his cheeks and discovering the soft, plush comfort of the floor.  At that moment, everything seemed to stop.  He could not hear, see, feel, or comprehend anything.  His tired muscles refused to cooperate with his overfilled mind.  He just sat there in a daze while the faucet poured from his sockets.  Visually, he could see the news but could not process the information stated.  He watched but did not see.  The pain was too much for his body to grasp.  In fact, the power was so intense that his body surrendered; collapsing down in his chair; he let go; allowing his body to heal from the ordeal.  Sleep Jonathan, sleep soundly.

Two hours passed when Jonathan regained consciousness.  The pizza is now cold to the touch, and the smell vanished from the fresh, cooked aroma to stale and cold.  The news was still reporting on the devastation in the northeast, and the breaking news banner read: Hurricanes of the Millennium: Tragedy Immanent.  He tried to move, but his muscles tightened from sleeping in the chair, and from the heartbreaking weather situation occurring.  He eventually forced himself to move his foot to the side, and stepped on the cold pizza still resting on the floor.  For a moment, he could not process the information; the previous incident and what happened, he continued to be dazed and confused.  Like a brick hitting a wall, it all came flooding back.  Jonathan quickly focused his eyes on the television.  The first storm had passed through the land.  News reporters on the scene could not assess the devastation just yet because the second storm was not striking the shore.

The newscast mentioned they did not know how many left the area to flee the destruction.  They, as well as the government officials, did not know how many were in the wake of the path.  There were a few people left behind, but no one knows if they chose to stay, or if they could not escape due to the massive evacuation and limited time frame to evacuate.  Both weather events formed suddenly, almost as if they were created to murder as many as possible.  The news broadcast featured experts, but not one could explain the severity or reasoning for the occurrence.  This weather was new to every person on the earth.  The experts could only speculate on the outcome.  They all agreed there was one thing certain: there would be many deaths and properties would be unrecognizable.

Jonathan reclaims his functions, cleans up the slice off the carpet, enters the kitchen to throw away the garbage, and grabs the carpet cleaner and a cloth.  Back in the living room he sprays the carpet then dabs the spot with the rag. 

Meanwhile, the news – still blaring in the background – aims the attention toward the apocalyptic event.  The weather woman reports, “Hurricane Victor’s eye is now over New Hampshire.  We now have footage from those on the scene.  Ned, what do you see right now?”

“It’s unbelievable.  There are no words.  We – the cameraman and Ned – are on State Street where the Capital Building, government buildings, and stores used to be. It’s all levelled, Sally.  Where there once stood trees is now empty holes.  There are no signs of the trees that used to stand here.  They may be a block away or miles away; we just don’t know.”  The cameraman scans the area showing the desolation, when all of a sudden he screams and pans away.  “Oh my God, Sally!” the frightened weatherman shouts, “We cannot show that, and I’m sorry for those watching that did see it.”  A lifeless body on the ground, twisted and tattered as if it had been thrown into the air, smashed into something solid, and then shoved into the concrete. 

Jonathan’s alert to the shouting weatherman forces his eyes toward the television to watch in horror.  He missed the shot, but he can’t help wondering if that body was someone he knew.  “Please, don’t let it be,” he thought then realizing how selfish the thought was continued, “I hope it is just debris and not a person.  That way no one will suffer the loss.”  It was then a light bulb flashed upon his head; he did not even try to contact his family, but would he be able to?  He had to try.  He could not sit there wondering, knowing his entire family and friends were in the midst of that devilish storm.  While dialing the numbers, he wished he had visited more after leaving the north five years ago.  Jonathan began to feel like he abandoned his former life.  The feeling would be worse if they did not survive the terrible disaster, or escape in the first place.  He could not think that way.  He had to keep dialing, but every number he tried received the same message: “The number you have dialed cannot be reached at this time.  Please try again later.” 

Frustrated, he ran to his computer to see if any had posted on a social media site, or maybe e-mailed him they all were safe.  Even though his cable connection worked adequately and quickly, it seemed like a lifetime passed before it connected.  Every second felt like an hour.  Every moment appeared to be a day.  The longer waiting time angered Jonathan.  He wanted to know yesterday!  Finally, he connected and was online, but there were no messages or postings.  There was nothing from his friends and nothing from his family.  He was alone in a dark room unable to answer any questions.  He frantically checked airline flights, but then smacked his palm on his head because no flight would be entering or exiting the area for quite some time.  For the first time in Jonathan’s life, he was useless. 

Minutes spun into hours, and at last the storm was diminished.  Days later the storm reportedly stole 125,000 souls and acquired approximately $15 billion in damage.  The Northeast was no longer lush with life.  It was now considered the wasteland.  During the process, Jonathan continued watching the news and a new social site dedicated to finding loved ones or the names of the unfortunate.  Five days after the storm left, Jonathan discovered the names of all his family members and a majority of friends on the expired pages. 

Bursting with grief, Jonathan pledged to visit his family’s properties, and leave his love and happiness with them forever.  He couldn’t be happy in his life after their lives were taken so violently and that he was too selfish when they were living.  Today is the first day of Jonathan’s sadness.

Hummingbirds Short Story

While I am in the process of writing the other part of this series, Forrest suggested for me to post the first 'installment' on here.  What a great idea!  Thank you for thinking for me, Forrest!

* Just a note to everyone:  This is a fictional story.  Hope you enjoy!  (Also, I may change the last paragraph to fit the series later on).

Hummingbirds

By: Jesse McKenzie Jr.

            Mother Nature is gleaming today.  The vibrant colors flow harmoniously; the rainbow is encircling the mountain.   The trees are back to life and the grass full with patches of blooms reaching for the heavens.  Birds sing praise of the new beginning.  Deer, moose, and bears roam freely through the dense forests and feed upon the bounty.   Spring returns and what a welcome it is after a brutal, long winter.  The melting snow is heard rushing along the slopes and finding their way to new ground.  Life has returned once again.

            Ethan is inhaling the fresh air, as if it was the first time, and closes his eyes to completely consume the surroundings.  A blaring horn wakes him from his nature meditation.  For a moment, this slim, average height, 29 year old man experienced life and all of its gifts.  But that moment has passed, and he is reminded of the convenience store on the busy rural route – the only one for miles – he just exited.  The smell of gasoline returns to his nostrils and makes him appreciate nature even more.  Ethan takes a breath; trying to recapture the forbidden essences.  Unable to, he walks back to his brand new Camaro, and drives off. 

He is traveling to see his grandmother, Ellie, which he has not seen in many months, mostly because of the weather and where she lives.  It is not a simple drive, nor is it a comfortable one.  The only road to her house is not supported by the city; therefore, it is not maintained as properly as it should be.  The dirt is loose on dry days, but springtime and winter wreak havoc on the flatness.  Once a year – if the city is feeling generous – a truck will take a quick sweep and grate it, which sometimes only makes it worse.  After a rainfall, the road will shake a vehicle violently; slower speed increases the roughness on the car and occupants.  Though, speeding is not recommended either.  First, it is law to remain around the noted limit, and second, it is wise to take caution in the countryside.  Wild animals can leap out of the forest’s tree line, which is almost on the narrow road on either side, at any given time.  The other reason is because his time is consumed on work and school. 

His excitement to see Ellie is impossible to contain.  The smile is permanently fixed on his lips as he drives on the paved road; the last portion of pavement before the horrendous road ahead.  Ellie has not refrained from telling every person that Ethan is her favorite, including family members, since his birth.  They have always had a special bond; a natural bond that no one can discourage or remove.  The absence has only strengthened their connection, but he wishes he could see her more often.  All he can do is promise himself that he will visit more frequently after graduation and secure a decent job. 

His thoughts are rudely interrupted when the car’s tires strike the country road.  He slows down enough to avoid the vicious, unforgiving road.  He cannot contain the thoughts as he drives on the endless path.  He begins to think about other people’s views about this torturous road, and how he has heard people say that they have ran off the road into the close ditch, an animal jumped out in front of them without any time to react, or the fact that the road is not pleasant.  All negative things, he thinks.  How could they all think of it like that?  How could something so beautiful and magnificent be so demonized?  Yes, the road is not the best, but all he could think of was that his destination was more important than bumps in the road. 

Ethan realized he was coming up on a corner that needed every ounce of his attention.  The corner was sharp and barely enough room for one car, so he had to be extra cautious.  Though he could not help but think of how close he was to Ellie’s now.  Just a couple more miles and he would turn another corner, and then the log cabin would be visible.  His thoughts are racing, but he wanted to arrive in one piece.  He had to commit full awareness to the road.  He was almost there!

The final mile was the most difficult, and most boring.  Either side of the road consisted of small corn fields.  Nothing to look at but corn stalks.  During this time of year it is even more tedious because the corn seeds have not been planted yet.  Fresh weeds cover much of the fields, for now, that is, until the farmer tills it again.  The beauty still surrounds the edges of the corn fields, “Maybe the farmer wanted to retain the natural beauty while having the ability to plant,” Ethan thought.

The last corner was rapidly approaching, and then he would be able to see the log cabin.  His grandparents built it just after they were married.  Ellie’s father owned a lumber mill, which he provided the wood for the young couple’s house.  All they had to do was buy the land.  They saved for many years prior, and with good fortune and cheap land rates at the time, were able to obtain a vast amount of acres just below a mountain in New Hampshire.  Their backyard was the slope of the mountain; a breathtaking scene.  They both fell in love with the area, even though it was miles outside of any town.  However, the neighbors were few and far in between; the closest one living two miles away.  They wanted privacy and they definitely achieved that goal.

Unfortunately, Ethan’s grandfather, William, passed away a decade previously, so he was not privileged with his presence any longer.  Ellie refused to give up the house or the land because she has lived there for almost a half a century, and the memories of her husband and their offspring’s’ childhood remained.  A mother cannot let go of something easily when it involves the people she loves the most. 

The house did need some work and her two boys, now men, did all they could to help out.  The things they could not help with, such as plumbing and electrical, they helped by paying a professional to come to the house and fix it for her.  She lived in a small town – everyone knows each other, and they know all the gossip – and many times the professionals would only charge half price because they know Ellie and they knew and respected William.  Nonetheless, the house was superb.  Five bedrooms, moderate in size, one for each child and one for Ellie and William; one large living room, which housed the massive television and wall unit along with the furniture and decor; one average sized bathroom, covered in blue and white tiles with a marble floor and white fixtures; and an enormous kitchen, which contained two large mammoth windows facing the driveway.  Ellie would sit at the table in front of the windows and stare out the window for hours while playing cards – mostly solitaire – when she was not cooking or cleaning.  “She did most of her thinking and reminiscing looking out that window,” Ethan thought as he recalled watching her in previous visits. 

“Finally!” he exclaimed loudly as he turned the corner viewing the house.  He had arrived.  The driveway was pretty long considering it was at the base of a mountain, slightly sloping uphill; following the motion of the landscape.  The driveway is like most of the trip, rough and bumpy because it is not paved, instead of dirt though, it is gravel, which is better than the dirt during the wet season. 

Grammy, as Ethan called her, was waving at the kitchen window, and just as he shut the car door she was opening the front door to greet him.  He always laughed to himself when he saw her.  She is a stout woman of 79, and Irish heritage that were clearly visible by the flames upon her head.  A sweet, caring woman but do not cross her or get on her bad side in any fashion.  She might be gentle and extend her heart, but once offended or maddened and her voice deepens to a stern discipline.  Ellie is not a violent person; though, her children would run when they tested her limits.  Her slap across the face, when provoked, would leave an emotional scar, but trained the person to think twice the next time.  She never hit or used the stern voice with Ethan because she did not need to – he respected her and demonstrated that respect – and because he is her favorite. 

She held out her arms, her smile as big as the mountain in the background, and she pulled Ethan in close.  The hug lasted about a minute, but to the both of them it lasted a lifetime.  Her first born grandson had returned.  Some say that is the reason for her favoritism toward Ethan, he was the first born male from her eldest male child.  The reason did not matter to Ethan.  He loved her just as much because in secret she was his favorite grandparent.  She always had dessert or freshly cooked food waiting for him when he arrived, and this day was no different.  He could smell the apple pie aroma flowing out the window and through the air, as if the fragrance was meant for his nose only.  Ellie, the smell of the pie, and the scenery struck him in the heart; he was once again home.

Ellie and Ethan went inside to the kitchen and sat at the table.  She usually waited a few minutes before offering the ‘surprise food’, so he could relax from the long trip from halfway across state.  They expressed the delayed time between visits, but were grateful the chance had arrived and life had permitted the visit.  Ethan told Ellie about his accomplishments and daily routines first, and then it was Ellie’s turn.  While talking Ellie stood up and brought the pie to the table.  Ethan closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of apples; cinnamon, nutmeg, and butter fill his insides.  His body felt the warm cooking life fill his heart.  She cut him a piece, as well as one for her, and sat back down while they enjoyed the scenery, pie, and each other’s company.

Ellie pushed her plate to one side and asked while she pointed out the window, “Do you know what kind of birdfeeder that is, Ethan?”

“I believe it is a hummingbird feeder, Grammy, correct?”

“Yes.  Do you know why I have so many hanging from that tree and the edge of the house?”

“No, why do you?”

“Hummingbirds are my favorite bird.  They are colorful and light as a feather.  They fly around in such grace.  I would love for once to have one land on my palm.  They are such beautiful creatures.  Free and wild at the same time,” she said in a low, calm voice as she dreamed out the window.  “I sit and watch them all day long, or so it seems sometimes.”

“They are precious, Grammy.”

She said nothing more for a few minutes, just dazed out the window watching those small birds come and go, while she smiled.  Suddenly, her expression changed to sadness; a worrisome look overcame her lovely face.  Her eyes drooped, and her eyes closed. 

“Grammy, are you alright?” 

“Ethan, there is something I have to tell you.  It is something you are not going to like, but I want you to listen to me and understand,” she softly demanded and hoped.

“Of course, Grammy, whatever it is.”

Looking at him and forcing a smile she continues, “I was having pains in my abdominal area.  The pain was too unbearable to ignore, so I finally, after a while of procrastinating, went to the doctor.  They ran some tests and I have the results that I know you will not fully accept.”

“Grammy, what did he find?” asked Ethan.  The intense conversation is stiffening his muscles and brain and panic filling his heart. 

She paused and looked out the window again as tears welled up in her eyes.  Without looking back at her grandson – refusing to see his desperation – her eyes lingered outside the window.  “He thought it might be one of my kidneys, so they did an ultrasound.  The right side was fine, but the left,” she paused to collect herself because she did not want to lose control of her sadness in front of him.  Ethan always saw her as a strong individual.  One that could handle any obstacle that faced her.  She has been through so much already; the loss of her true love and two cases of cancer: both times breast cancer.  After a few moments, she began again where she left off, “The left kidney could not be found.”

Puzzled, Ethan asked, “What do you mean it could not be found?  Did you have it removed when you were younger?”

“No, and what I mean is they could not see it.  It was there, but it was hidden.  The cancer had completely covered it.”

Devastation filled Ethan’s entire body, not just his heart this time.  He wanted to fall to the floor in defeat, but he could not react this way in front of Grammy.  Besides, she had conquered cancer twice before.  She is a tough woman, and she will conquer it again.  “What are your options?  What did the doctor say can be done?  Is there a treatment available?”

“Hold on, Ethan.  I am not done,” she insisted looking back at him.

“Sorry.”

She forced another smile to let him know she accepted and understood.  “The doctor told me of two options, but I have come to a decision.”

“Okay,” Ethan stated while listening carefully.

“I have been through the treatment twice before.  My body and mind are not willing to go through that experience anymore.  I have given this a lot of thought and I am refusing the treatment.”

Ethan sank in the chair, his heart crashed through the floor, and despair entered without an invitation.  His eyes felt pain as he sat there listening to her situation.  He tried with all his might to suppress the emotions, but the pain was more forceful than anything he had witnessed before.  He wanted to bust out in a crying rage, but he knew that was not the time.  He had to be strong for Grammy.  He had to listen.

“I have known the diagnosis for a couple months.  I did not want to tell you over the phone and I did not want to give you a notion that something was wrong.  I did not want you to travel with the questions taking over your mind, and hinder your concentration on that long drive.  I knew that calling you and inviting you here out of the blue would be enough for you to know that I wanted to see you,” Ellie explained.

The only words Ethan could pour out of his mouth without sobbing or show his anger toward life were, “Thank you.”

She nodded her head and looked out the window for a second, and then back at Ethan.  “I have lived a marvelous life, Ethan.  I found and married my true love, had four wonderful children, and multiple grandchildren.  It is not a secret that you are my favorite grandchild.  Do you know why you are my favorite?”

Fighting the tears with every ounce of energy Ethan had left, he answered, “Not really, Grammy.  I assume, and heard, it was because I was the first male grandchild born.”

She smiled and responded, “That is part of the reason, yes.  There is another reason though.  When I first met you after you were brought into this world, I saw goodness in you that I knew would last a lifetime.  You were innocent and fragile.  Somehow I knew that would always stay inside you, would grow from that, learn from it, and be special.”

Ethan’s ability to hide his emotions diminished after hearing what his grandmother expressed.  He bowed his head and the tears flooded his cheeks.  He was not sobbing, but the tears would not stop.  The damn had broken and nothing was going to stop the flow.  He just sat there with his head bowed and let the tears run like a faucet down his pale cheeks. 

Ellie watched out the window as she tried to focus on the hummingbirds to prevent her from the same reaction.  She knew he had to allow the emotion to free itself because it would do no good keeping it inside; festering. 

Minutes passed before Ethan regained control.  Wiping his eyes with a tissue, he said, “I love you, Grammy.”

The only thing she could do was stand up, walk over, and hug him for comfort.  Not only to comfort him, but to comfort her as well.  They both needed a hug at this point.  The information was overwhelming. 

After a few minutes, she went back to the other side of the table where she was sitting before.  The both stared out the window focusing on the tiny hummingbirds floating on air just outside the feeders.  Then, without warning, Ellie stood up and walked into her bedroom, which was down the long hallway.  Upon returning, she held a book in her hand and handed it to Ethan.

“Open to page 7.  There you will find more information than I could give you about my father.  I can tell you about him as a father, but that chapter describes him as a businessman,” she informed.

Ethan took the book in his hands and opened up to the page.  It described Fred – Ethan’s great grandfather – as a wise man of business.  He owned a lumber mill and a paper factory, which his grandfather built with his bare hands, and has passed through the generations of the family.  However, halfway through Fred’s life, the economy and times had changed.  Both the lumber mill and the paper factory closed.  There were more pages about Fred, but Ethan’s mind was preoccupied with Grammy.  “Grammy, why,” Ethan started to ask then composed himself and continued, “Why have you not told anyone before now?  Why did you choose me?”

“You are the only one in the family who is going to know about the personal aspects of your other family; my side.  I have not discussed it with any other.  I have heard others assuming my family is evil because of not discussing it.  They think I do not talk about my family because there is something to hide; something I do not wish to remember.  That is not true.  I have always held my family close to my heart.  They are sacred to me, as you are.  Until now, I have not wanted to share it with anyone.  I choose to share it with you.  I want you to know where you come from, how special you truly are, and how much you mean to me. You are very smart, even though you do not realize how smart you are.  You are in school for English.  Whatever you choose to do with the information is up to you.  I do not want the secrecy anymore.  You come from a good, smart, and loving family that I wish you had the chance to meet.  Both my parents died before you were old enough to remember them.  My mother, Louise, was strict but she did everything she could for us.  Whenever we needed clothes, she would sew them; she was frugal and used every opportunity to save as much as she could.  It helped in later years when the factory and mill closed.  My father was a respected man in town.  He helped any who needed it.  If he could not help financially, he would help as best he could in other ways.  My brother, well, he was as much a handful as I was.  We tried mother’s patience more times than I care to admit.  However, my brother and I never got into trouble with the law.  We were troublemakers, but not law breakers.  We were good kids for the most part.”

Ethan tried to remember each and every detail she told him that day.  She told him all about the family and the legacy they left, or tried to leave to the future family members.  The closing of the mill and factory was not a positive occurrence to leave for the future, but it did last four generations.  Some may think it is a failure, but Ethan always thought of it as a triumph.  During his research, he discovered that his family succeeded long after other mills and factories sealed their doors.  The legacy lives on in the historical society museum.  No person could be more proud of his heritage. 

The following year, Grammy passed away, but Ethan spent as much time as he could with her during that final year.  Listening to her stories, watching out the window at the hummingbirds, and laughing any chance they could.  It was difficult toward the end because she was on morphine and was not coherent most of the time.  Ethan saw a different side of her that he never thought possible, but he still remembers her as the resilient, fun, loving grandmother he had always admired. 

That year changed his life.  He had a new found respect for a family he never knew.  He acted upon Grammy’s wishes pertaining to her family information.  He wrote a book detailing each event, success, and each failure.  The last chapter focused on the inspiration for the book; Grammy and the hummingbirds.

American Ethnic Literature Grade

Five weeks are done with American Ethnic Literature, and received my grade already.  Before I tell you my final grade, I would like to talk about the class. The first week was reading all of the preface's and introductions, which was not bad.  I was impressed with the second week, which was learning about different African American authors.  I read some autobiographies, poetry, and fiction stories.  These were definitely interesting and captivated my attention.  The third week was Native American authors' autobiographies, fiction stories, and poetry.  I was pleasantly impressed with these stories as well.  However, the fourth week was not as fun.  Hispanic American stories were confusing and boring.  Some of the stories I had to read two or three times, which the other students in the class said the same thing.  The final week was better than week four; Asian American authors.  I had a few favorites during this week, but I was more impressed with the second and third week's reading.

The instructor was tough with grades, which is not a bad thing.  I learned a lot of information about the authors and the stories.  The final week's grade is what shocked me the most.  He wrote on my final essay that he did not have any criticisms and I received full credit!  The team presentation also received full credit!  Now you may ask what the final grade was, and I will divulge that score.

The final grade: (wait for it) 94%!  Another A!

My next class is a week away.  It was the earliest time that an instructor had available (he or she is still in another class).  I am excited for this class because it is Creative Writing!  So, I am going to take this week to write a short story and try my best to have it published!

I hope you are all having a wonderful week, month,and year!

Dog Food

Yesterday I read an article about the Purina Beneful dog food and its effects to dogs.  Some have died from ingesting this food because it contains an ingredient found in Anti-freeze.  As is common knowledge, Anti-freeze is harmful to dogs and cats.  I cannot recall the number of complaints and cases suing the company, but it is an incredible amount.
As some of you have read in previous posts, our dog, K.B., has been having health issues.  The vet has determined that it is a food allergy of some kind.  After reading the article yesterday, I began to wonder.  Is K.B. suffering from this effect?  She was eating Purina Beneful Healthy, which is on the list, before switching her to BLUE.  While eating the Purina brand, she had diarrhea (one symptom).  Lately, she has been continuously getting a bacterial infection that makes her have skin infections.
I talked with Forrest about this and he is going to mention it to the vet next time.
Unfortunately, we probably cannot prove it now, but I am posting this to make awareness.

Remembering the Challenger Disaster

Twenty-nine years ago today, January 28, 1986, the world witnessed a tragedy; the space shuttle Challenger "killed seven crew members when, just 73 seconds after launch, a booster engine failed and caused the shuttle to break apart in midair" (Schupak, 2015).

Friends began revisiting their memories of where they were on that fateful day, which encouraged me to do the same on this blog.

I was in third grade in Franklin, NH.  The entire building was constructed without "rooms"; the classes consisted of walls that did not reach the ceiling.  It was more like a cubicle at a workplace.  Needless to say, it became loud during school hours.  On January 28, 1986, our class went across the hall to the other classroom to watch the launch.  I remember thinking, "What is the big deal?"  However, it did get me away from classwork, so it was not too much of a big deal on that point.  Though, I did not realize how much of a big deal it would truly be.

We all sat down and talked until the program, if I recall correctly we were watching ABC for the news coverage, started.  The countdown began and we all counted with it.  I could hear children from all over the school counting along.  The shuttle rocketed upward.  There was cheers and applause.  Then, it happened.  Something I, and many others around the world, had not seen before.  The school became silent, as if the school had closed and no one was left in the building.  No one needed an explanation of what occurred.  It was a few minutes before the teachers started gathering all the students and shutting the televisions off.

I do not remember the rest of that day, but I can remember exactly where I was sitting in that classroom across the hall: third row back, on the right side of the television.  It is amazing how well we can remember certain events, and the particulars.  It is etched in my mind forever.

On this day, I wish to forward my heart and hugs to those who witnessed this event.  Moreover, I wish to send my thoughts and heart to the families of the seven:

Commander:
Francis R. Scobee

Pilot:
Michael J. Smith

Mission Specialists:
Judith A Resnik
Ellison S. Onizuka
Ronald E. McNair

Payload Specialists:
Gregory B Jarvis
Sharon Christa McAuliffe

Credits:
Schupak, A. (2015). On 29th anniversary of Challenger disaster, NASA's day of remembrance. www.cbsnews.com
Photo: Associated Press/Bruce Weaver

President Obama and the State of the Union Address

I watched the State of the Union Address last night and at the starting event made a post on Facebook that it should be comical.  I was not disappointed: it was comical.  I used to be a Democrat, but I am considering on revising that decision.  I may not head over to the Republican side, but somewhere in the middle.

The reason I found the address comical was because most of what he talked about for his next two years, he promised when he was first running for the presidency: education, middle class, economy, etc.  Yes, the economy is better.  I do have to give him credit for that; however, that has only been accomplished recently.  Gas prices have finally decreased, but the fear remains on when they will sky rocket again.  Yes, the war in the Middle East is officially over, yet, it took six years.  Almost everything he promised in 2008 has yet to be witnessed by the public.  Now, he decides to focus on those promises?

One thing that disturbed me the most in the speech was when he mentioned that this country was not divided.  Seriously?  Does he watch the news?  People are out of control killing one another.  The government cannot agree on anything.  The wealthy still get away with too much, while the rest of the population suffers.  I realize there will always be differences, especially of opinions, but we do know how to compromise, we just simply choose not too.  Why?  My thought is because we are too greedy (not individually, but as a nation).  We want what we want and that is final.  One saying comes to mind: It's my way or the highway!  Have we (as a nation) become so selfish and greedy that we cannot make rational decisions that benefit everyone?

Another thing that disturbed me was when he took credit for same-sex marriages.  The last time I looked, the Justices were the ones who decided that based upon the Constitution of the United States, which was not written by President Obama, but a group of individuals who had a dream of this nation over 200 years ago!  Not to mention the People of America are the ones who stood up and said it is time for all to be equal!  Not to have special rights, but to have a chance at the recognition of love between two people.

As far as free community college, yes, I think that is a great idea.  People will have a chance to better themselves with an education.  I am all for that!  It will be interesting to see how he will accomplish (or try to) this feat.  As it stands, there are teachers needed across the nation, which are underpaid.  I begin to wonder if the community college instructors/professors will suffer the same fate.  Like I said, it will be interesting to see what transpires.

The final thought I had with his speech last night was with ISIS (or ISO).  He wants to attack this terrorist group, which I am not against at all.  However, does this require more ground troops, another war, and more deaths among military personnel?  Our economy, faith in the system, and mentality cannot handle another crisis like a war.  I understand that if we do nothing there is the possibility of another 9/11.  Then again, if we keep the defensive and continue what we are doing (as long as the right people are doing their job), we may be fine.  Thankfully, I am not the president and do not have to make that decision.  It is definitely not an easy one.

Basically, I cannot wait for the next election to find out what the future holds.  Hopefully, we will elect a person that can do the job effectively.  One who will not make empty promises, or make our great nation dip back down into the recession or a depression again.  One who will make smart decision and work with the rest of the government.  That may be a thought that only exists in a fantasy world, but one can hope it becomes reality.

What is Happening to Earth?

I have been keeping track of events that occur all over the world for a few years now, and with each passing year, I discover an intensity I never could have imagined.  Earthquakes, mysterious "booms", sinkholes, hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunami's, the list goes on.

Earthquakes:
No one is unfamiliar with earthquakes.  We have seen the destruction from the 8.9 magnitude 2011 Japan earthquake, which caused a severe tsunami.  Haiti, Chile, and Indonesia are just a few others that have had recent strong shaking.  However, I cannot help but be curious as to what is going on at home (United States).  In the past year, there have been multiple earthquakes in Lakeview, Oregon.  Each day there is at least five in that area.  Oklahoma is another concern.  Some say the Oklahoma quakes are caused from fracking.  Yes, this is definitely possible.  Do we know for sure?  We are not 100% sure.  In my mind, I view the shaking around the world, focus on the ring of fire, and this begins my thoughts to run.  In the past few years, there have been significant earthquakes in Japan, Indonesia, off the coast of Australia, South America, Mexico, Central America, and even Alaska.  On the other hand, the United States west coast has not had a significant one in years.  Is the big one coming?  I cannot answer that.  All I can do is wonder, like everyone else.  I hope it does not, because that would put many people in harms way.  I do not wish that on any person.

Mysterious Booms:
Linda Moulton Howe is a respected journalist who has won numerous awards, including an Emmy and "two dozen TV production and journalism awards"and has been recently researching this "boom" phenomena around the world.  On her website, Earthfiles.com, she lists the states that have witnesses to these "booms".  The states are: Michigan, Kentucky, Missouri, Indiana, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Idaho, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, and Iowa.  Michigan was the first to be reported on the news, but since then, they have been reported all over the world.  However, the news is not covering them much anymore.  Now, one may say that is not many states, considering the entire world is enormous.  True, but I am about to blow your mind.  This list only entails the United States and is only since the beginning of this year (2015)!  Actually, the list was from January 1 - 12, 2015.  Twelve days.  Thirteen States.  Many states had more than one city reporting this phenomenon.  So what's going on?  As far as we are "told", no one is sure.  Ideas are pouring around, as well as conspiracy theories and doomsday scenarios.  Unfortunately, we may never know.  Maybe someday, with advancement in technology and science, we will know.

Sinkholes:
Though we have not seen many sinkholes in the news lately, the three massive sinkholes in Russia still have my mind boggled.  Though, there are many sinkholes that have happened before then and after, and will continue.  One theory I have is that with all the ice melting, the Earth is soaking it up.  Of course, that loosens the crust (soil, dirt, etc),  That is the best solution I can come up with for now.  Maybe in time, more opportunities for solutions will present themselves.

Hurricanes and Tornadoes:
We have definitely seen an increase in these two.  First, Sandy and Katrina.  I do not think I have to talk in detail about either one, because they made headlines world wide.  Think for a second though: Think of the size of Sandy.  It covered almost the entire east coast!  Think of its path: the northern east coast!  That does not happen often.  Not to mention that was the second one within a decade.  How scary is that!
Tornadoes have increased as well.  The 2011 outbreak was heartbreaking and record-breaking at the same time.  Scientists have seen the tornado destruction path's and intensity increase.  Just this year (remember, it is only January 16) southern Georgia has had three tornadoes already!  It is not even season for those yet!  What is in store for this year?  I guess we will have to just wait and watch.

I am not afraid of the future.  I am not worried about what is to come.  The future is unavoidable, and should be revered.  Of course I am curious about the events taking place.  I just hope that the outcome is not unpleasant.  I also hope the scientists discover the reasons for the intensity of storms, and the mysteries that surround us.

* Moulton Howe, L. (2015). January 14, 2015 - 12 states have reports of mysterious, loud booms in first 12 days of January 2015. Earthfiles.com

France Situation

Forrest and I are currently watching the news about this horrible situation in France.  It makes me wonder how people could be so delusional.  I am not a religious person, but I know the difference between right and wrong.  Attacking a business, killing, and taking hostage(s) is not the right path.  I may be wrong on this assumption, since so many wrong actions are taking place.  In my heart and mind, I believe that there are alternative ways to dealing with circumstances.  I say this because one reporter said that the terrorist failed at becoming a rapper; thus, he becomes a terrorist??  In what reality does that make any sense?  The only thing I can think of is a two year old not having a toy bought that he or she wanted; therefore, throws him or her self on the floor kicking and screaming.  What has our world become?  Do not get your way so take an evil reaction.  Sad.

Hopefully, the French police will end this situation is a positive manner, but unfortunately, I do not foresee this happening.  Especially since the terrorist has already expressed to dying as a martyr.

End of Winter Vacation

We are now in 2015 and it is proving interesting, but not in bad sense.  Today is the start of school again, which I am thankful because I was beginning to become extremely bored.  I was also annoying Forrest with my talking and pacing around the house to find something to do.  The only worrisome to start this year out is finding two more lumps on K.B.  One is on the back of her neck and the other is on her belly.  We are hoping they are not cancer, but it seems like we will be taking another trip to the vet very soon.  We estimated $1200.00 was spent on her vet visits the second half of last year.  Although it was worth it, because she is still with us, it is still heavy on the pockets.  It also makes our fears come to light about her future.  We are trying to be positive, but it is difficult when she continues to grow these lumps.  She is at that age, even the vets call her a senior citizen.

On the bright side, I now have my two future courses scheduled, which are American Ethnic Literature and Creative Writing.  The first, American Ethnic Literature, requires me to buy four books!  I looked and compared the pricing on their site and Barnes and Nobles.  B&N was literally half the price!  Though, the cost for the four books was about $150.00, I did buy them and they should arrive soon, as they were shipped yesterday.  I am so pleased to be getting back into the English courses again.  The Spanish was a welcomed break from English, but I am ready to get back into it.  Also, I am half-way through my degree!

This year, I plan on writing a short story in hopes to be published, and write an article as well.  I am also determined to quit smoking and start exercising to increase my health.  Some may call these a New Year's resolution, but I am thinking of it more as bettering my health and furthering my future career!